CN: Suicide For Allison 1. 1994 I’m twenty-eight years old. I’m back on the east coast from New Mexico, going through boxes of books in the attic of my mother’s Victorian home. I come across a bound journal with a faded violet cloth cover. It doesn’t take me long to…

The catastrophe rages all over the planet. The long stories of multi-generational trauma, addiction, and destruction continue to play out on human bodies, animal bodies, and the bodies of the land Herself. And yet, in the midst of all of this, I find reasons for hope even when my logical…

One of my favorite memes that I’ve seen recently is a picture of Helena Bonham Carter, ostensibly from a film where she looks wildly unkempt and raggedy. She is rustling around in the garbage. The line underneath is: “Me letting myself go to rock bottom because I know how alchemy…

I always said that education was God in my family. Despite the fact that I was pathologized and labeled as having ADHD (the “wrong” kind of learning style, according to the system), and despite my mother and other family members revering academia and having advanced degrees, it was my failure…

Radical Self Love as Medicine for Patriarchal Narratives On my 57th birthday, I wanted to post this current picture of myself and state something that I know to be radical in this culture: I have always known that I am beautiful. I’ve never had any desire to shave off years from my age. I’m aware that this understanding…

My Journey of Uncovering My Authentic Sexuality When I was 35 years old, I would have told you unequivocally that I was straight. I would have believed myself, and you would have believed me, too. I’d forgotten about the kiss and my desire for a woman from childhood and a college roommate. I’d pushed away the memories…

I know with every molecule in my being and every strand of DNA that ribbons itself back through time, weaving in and out of ancestral memory and into the center of the earth, touching the core and the root system of the dark mother, that humans are at an existential…

In the fall of 2019, I participated in an Ancestral Family Constellation session with a small group in Santa Fe. I’ve been doing this work for about the last dozen years and have had many powerful experiences retrieving my connection to my own lineage. This work actually led me to…

Last night, the news arrives, RGB is dead. This morning, I awaken from a deep sleep praying the rosary. During business hours every day, I find myself whispering to the dead. We are living into a mass extinction, yet continue to behave as if the poles haven’t already melted, the fires aren’t already…